I, humble woman of <cough> years and life-long land-dweller, have begun my journey into her dark and mysterious lair, to witness the beauty of Earth's aquatic denizens, to follow the lamp-light of Jacques Cousteau, to (hopefully) avoid the locker of Davy Jones...
Yeah, I'm learning to scuba dive. And I'm very excited. And I've been researching like mad (because I'm a geek).
So here's the answer to the most important question I've found so far:
To pee or not to pee? Or, is it okay to whiz in your wetsuit?
Actually, most (some say all) divers pee in their wetsuits. Think about it - among the most important things to do while diving, aside from making sure you've got air and know how to breathe it, is to stay hydrated. It's amazingly easy to get dehydrated, resulting in disorientation, exhaustion, and even fainting - which, at depth, can be a bit of a problem. So, of course, you must drink lots of liquids. Those liquids have to go somewhere, and your body has the habit of insisting that you expel them every so often. You must either hold it or have a pee.
Problem is, many resources say that neoprene + urine = disaster. I paid several hundred dollars for my wetsuit. Do I really want to ruin it? And, seriously, I haven't peed myself for most of my adult life - it's rather gross and not very feminine. I'd really rather not, thanks.
But let's look at a real-world scenario:
Let's say I've been hydrating all morning, had a pee at the dock, and because I'm the type of diver that prefers being healthy, I've been sipping from my water bottle off and on from the dock to the dive site. I don my gear, which takes a while, diligently hydrating the whole time. Right before submerging, I have a fair drink for good measure, since I'm gonna be down for a while.
Well, I'm a girl, and girl plumbing seems to be a bit shorter than boys'. About 15 minutes in and a few dozen metres down, my body says it's time to go. I've just come to a magnificent reef of unimaginable splendour, and the sea life is welcoming me in, swimming curious circles about me and practically begging me to explore.
What shall I do? I could bang on my tank and signal my party to surface, rip off my suit on the boat and dash for the nearest loo. This will absolutely have at least two outcomes: I'll probably never find a dive buddy again (at least not without using some questionable substance on them), and I'll likely be lynched - figuratively if I'm lucky.
Or, I could have a go in my suit. Wow, that sounds so very unsavoury. But hang on a minute... How am I gonna enjoy this dive whilst doing the underwater pee-pee ballet? So I spent hundreds on my suit - but I spent thousands on the rest of my gear to allow me to be here, not to mention the plane tickets, hotel, boat fees, etc., etc. just to be down here for this hour or so of bliss...
And is peeing in neoprene really so bad? Actually, as it turns out, no. Well, at least not as long as one observes the proper procedures.
Rinse your suit. Immediately after the dive. Rinse it thoroughly, inside out, in the water outside the boat first - please do this before dropping it into the boat's rinse tub. Seriously, the rest of the group are probably dropping their regulators in there. Um, ew! (Which brings up another point about rinse tubs, ew...) Then rinse in running fresh water as soon as possible.
Wash your suit regularly using wetsuit shampoo. Some people do this in the washing machine - I'm not gonna chance it, personally. A thorough hand-washing will suit me fine. Lots of people love the 500PSI stuff, which is pretty cheap on scuba.com.
An overwhelming number of people report excellent wetsuit shelf-lives by following these simple practises. So, neoprene + urine + proper care = no adverse effects. Remember, uncared-for urine smell never comes out. Never. Add some heat and good luck finding a dive buddy!
Now that we've got the technicals out of the way, on to some wetsuit-peeing tips and etiquette...
Don't pee in a rental suit. It's bad form and outfitters don't like it - some even use a special indicating chemical to rat you out. At best you'll lose face, and at worst you may incur an extra fee.
If you really couldn't help it, be a man and tell them. Neoprene + urine + lack of knowledge about urine always = ruined suit. If the pee isn't rinsed out immediately and promptly washed with shampoo, the smell will never come out. Never. No, really, never.
Try tucking your boots into your suit legs instead of the other way round. This may not be practical in some suits with fancy sealing, but think about water flow and you may see advantages.
Don't pee in someone else's suit, especially not while they're in it. Most people don't like that. Question their sanity if they do.
Some divers claim that peeing in your wetsuit will make you warmer. There's a big controversy here: While this may be true for a few minutes, once outside your body the pee will cool to the same temperature as the rest of the liquid trapped in your suit, making no difference. Some divers go on to claim that, once this happens, the pee will actually have a cooling effect. I don't believe this - unless there's some odd difference in the effect of your body's warming ability on diluted urine vs. whatever random chemicals you're swimming in, once the warming effect wears off, you should return to whatever temperature you were at before. Many cold water divers claim to randomly pee their suits on purpose for the warming effect. Back to the point about the boat rinse tub...
Funny thing, the best advise if you're skittish about peeing in your suit is the most counter-intuitive thing you can think of - drink as much water as possible. You may find wetsuit whizzing to be unavoidable, but if you've been drinking enough, your pee will be quite watered down, weak, and thus much more tolerable.
But what about environmental concerns? Hmm... I've seen a lot of fish - never seen one retiring to the loo. And they don't even wear wetsuits...
Lastly, none of this advise works for a dry suit. Remember, dry suit + urine = really uncomfortable wetsuit.
So, do I pee in my wetsuit? Of course. But mostly while diving, and (sorry, guys) I won't share my pee in the rinse tub.
My wetsuit of choice: O'Neill 7mm Sector FSW. Hot!
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